Monday, February 16, 2009

Guest Blog: George Lucas Doesn't Care About You aka "Darth Fucktard"

From the brilliant mind of Kevin Johnson, over @ The 410 Scrolls:

There is a certain type of dumb, a specific brand of stupid, that causes the inner most working of my rage to find nourishment and replenish its desire to hunt, and destroy. What follows is a conversation I had with Stephanie concerning this very case of idiot that she presented to me. The picture in question is here (via Gizmodo):

And what you will notice, quickly, is that it makes little to no sense. To summarize, the young man states the following:

"I got this tattoo about 8 months ago. I believe it perfectly sums up my feelings towards George [Lucas]. I love Star Wars but I wish George would retire and leave the series in better hands."

This is the conversation that followed:

Kevin: ....
Steph: What? Oh? That link? Haha.
Kevin: Wow.
Steph: Yeah! Dude is serious.
Kevin: But that's such a stupid idea. You could easily convey the same sentiment with a t-shirt. You get dude's face plastered on your arm because you hate him?
Steph: Right.
Kevin: Come on kid, that's like getting your ex's name on your arm after they gave you an STD... .. the eff outta here with that nonsense.
Steph: That's a really good analogy.
Kevin: The Star Wars series is a lot like that sometimes.. A gorgeous person with a massive herpes outbreak. Peel back some layers and you got question some ish.
Steph: Hell yeah.
Kevin: But no - just tattoo the FACE of someone you hate on your arm, and promote dude and his brand whenever you wear a short sleeve shirt. God I hate Diddy.. Where's that Sean John suit I own? Damn you 50, hating you leaves me parched.. better grab some Formula 50 Vitamin Water.
Steph: LMAO
Kevin: Spike Lee is such an ass, I'm going to go watch She Hate Me eight more times to make my hate that much more palpable. George Lucas sleeps on beds of money and children's tears, he ain't worried about the tattoo you got.
Steph: But you have his likeness on your body forever.
Kevin: Way to go guy - you win the coveted 'Sit Yo Dumb Ass Down Award' in the category of 'Best Way to Bend Over and Get Screwed by the Person You Hate w/ a Duo or Group'
Steph: **dead**
Kevin: It's like dude sat and thought about how he could be a joke, and went the lengths necessary to be remembered through the test of time as a complete and total tool. Like, when the world is bust dust and the last nomadic tribes of humanity circle the earth like children of the damned, the legend of his dumbassness with echo throughout. If I could possess a fraction of the liberating stupidity this guy possess, if I could touch the hymn of the garment of his rampant wtf-itude, maybe I too could feel the same sense of freedom to be an douche. I want that freedom. He obviously is fearless in the face of other's opinions. He doesn't know fear. He is Legend. They should make a biopic of his life because I want to follow the journey from conception of the idea of that tattoo until present day. I want to delve into the odyssey of his mine and withdraw the nougat of brilliance he obviously contains within his psyche. Because I have a feeling that the cure for all of the world's ills can be found there. Fucktard.
Steph: LMAO. Wow. That really stuck a nerve with you.
Kevin: It did. In the face of such fucktardacity - I get rubbed the wrong way. Doofy fuckbiscuit

1 bugged out:

Kev said...

Yes. That F-Biscuit.